Tuesday, May 5, 2009

totally confused...

ohh God...
i really don't know what is it all about...
why why why...
everybody seems to get it n I don't...
is it really fair??
I do hardly try to accept it...to believe that U have prepared sumthing more for me...
but still...I've to try so hard....
to believe it....

Thursday, April 23, 2009

waiting...

OMG..i don't get it God...why why why...??U know who is struggling for it since the beginning...but why....?other person get it first...other person which never ever thought for it before...i feel like i just left behind...i know this is not the end of everything...but somehow, i don't like to wait like this...

Thursday, April 2, 2009

God arrange it for me...

God knows what is my desire...

God knows my fear....

God knows what is worried me...

And, i believe....

God will arrange it for me...

That's the best for me...

Just wait n see...

What can God do for me...

And for you...

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

i'm back...

i don't have all that fun n funny photo...

i don't have much of that smile and laugh...

i don't do much talk and joking...

i only do much much much and much enjoys the day for myself.....

in my own way and style...

which only belong to me me and me...

nia has her own way of thinking and way to enjoying herself...

and nobody else will ever have or understand it... ^^

Saturday, March 21, 2009

my working partner

i don't know what to say about him...
so clumsy...so dumb...so slow...ohhh...i have no idea, whether i have to hate or feel pity to him...
he is 100% in-charge at service, not like me who do "anything" but howcome...almost 9 months we're work here, he never know how to serve sambucca...ya well...maybe he know it, but he NEVER do it...my God...i do really feel so pity for him...also this night, after Wing told him how to do and asked him to serve that, instead to do it...he just drop it at the floor...don't know, whether it was trully an accident or because he was too nervous to do his first sambucca...
i don't mind with that accident, it's so normal, everybody can do that, even stanny ever did that with her irish coffee...but...what i don't like is, he don't clean it properly...he just wipe that sambucca n koffie with handoekjes...my God!!!it was so sticky....and this week i just mop the floor...i just don't want to let it just go...i tell him that he have to clean that again...

i feel so pity to my working partner...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

16th march 2009

it was monday, stanny asked me n mikha to have a dinner at her sister thaise restaurant, at amsterdam, jordaan...

leuk om te doen...meet two nice indonesian man...already born here...only if, i could...... ^^

Sunday, March 8, 2009

learn to stand alone....

yeahhh...it's true...

we have to learn to stand with anything alone...

"I" have to learn to stand anything alone...

When friends, money, boyfriend, husband, can not be beside u....

U only have yourself, and God to rely on...

Once again...I'm heading to Barca all alone, all by my self...

I don't know who to blame...I can not...blame somebody...

Well...I guess God just want to have precious time only with me in Barca...

He wants me to learn...He wants me to enjoy it more and more...

All alone...all by myself, when there is only me, myself and I....

Barca...I'm coming...!!! ^^

Monday, March 2, 2009

italy-austria-hongary trip...

my vakantie to this 3 country was awsome...it was on 16-24 feb. the first 2 days were very tired though coz we went directly after our work, no sleep at peter, directly fly to pisa and with the train to rome...can u imagine?very exhausted...but very exciting...venice also...was very beautiful and romantic city...i've never been at that watery city before...soo pretty...and unique...when we went back to pisa to catch our flight in the next morning, we meet one nice filipino man, was the front office worker in the hotel that we stay.

after trip to italy, it started my austria-hongary alone trip...hahaha...yesss...i went alone...by eurolines...was very nice also, maybe everybody think i'm crazy and will not enjoy my alone trip but u know what?if you went alone, u have the whole city all for you...u can enjoy it all by your self, without thinking bout your friends, etc...but yes, i have to admit, went with your friends will be more fun, but went alone it was also not that bad...in austria, i even had a chance to join the saturday mass at st. sthephan kerk...was so beautiful and unforgettable...

the next morning, it's time to head for budapest-hongary, wauwwww....budapest was the most beautiful city that i ever saw...divided in 2 parts (buda and pest) you can feel very relax there, very colddd though...also the transportation system was not so good like in other europe country.

hemmmm......one of my journey that i will not forget...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

what a day...

kemaren kerja sampe jam 1.30 subuhhh booo...edannn....ada musician dari german, nari2 nyanyi2 sampe subuh di resto...what a f***!!exhausteddd....specially today, i work like ghost...my soul wasn't work with me...still left exhausted at the bed...

one more thing that i want to share...coz we work overtime yesterday, today my mevrouw gave us break time...but coz it was busy, i have to came back at 6, mikha at 7..when i came back, stanny keeps gave me an order while she was already busy with her "glass cleaning program" soo...the condition was, restaurant lack of people, no one can help mv to handling the guest...and u know what??she became bad mood...!!my god, i can't stand with her...really2 can't think about her...eventhough we were not helping her to handle the guest, but we were trying to finish our job which were intend for her restaurant also...god...how can she be so selfish...

but thanks god, finally i can make it...eventhough i, myself allready exhausted, and became bad mood also, but i still do perform my best at work (a bit burning at my finger though, because of that f***ing s**t warmer plate)

one thing still i can not stand with my mevrouw...why she has to be bad mood while we are working hard for her...it's not help at all, it just make all become worse, and the working atmosphere become uncomfortable, also...makes me tired....

Monday, February 2, 2009

don't like it!!!

always see her...
always take a look bout her...
really don't like it...
like i'm jealous with her and all that surrounded her...
everything that she has looks like better than me...hiks...
i don't like it...
not that i don't like her...
but i don't like myself...
how could i feel this way....
i just want to be happy....
without keeping an eye for her..

Monday, January 26, 2009

it's all over...

today finally i can write sumthin here...like my title above...today, 26 january 2009...it's all over for me...my vacation to sweden (19-22 january) already finished, Chinese new year which is exactly this day it's also aldeary over....

my trip to sweden was faboulous, i like it...gamla stan, ikea, sodermalm, skansen, saluhall, vasa museet, kungsgatan, sergel torg, drottinggatan, ahlen, nk, t-centralen, i will never forget it...also my super duper fine hostel, city backpackers near nora bantorget...where i meet someone from aussie who was very talkative yet funny...^^
also i will never forget how God help me with the transport ticket...hahaha...a little bit cheat...but God knows that we're a budget travelers...

talk about chinese new year, i dunno what i should say...rather it fun, normal, or quite dissapointing...i went to amsterdam this day...but there it's absolutely nothing...at night i went to holland casino, there i can feel the atmosphere of chinese new year coz there were sooooo many chinese people gather around....i meet stanny who was very busy wit her mahyong competition...anyway, she lost it...but one thing that make me bit dissapointed, that i can not stay until late...at 21.30 i have to went home...coz there will be no transport to go back to soesterberg if i stay too late...huhhhh.....that's very dissapoint me...i only wish one thing at that time, i wish somebody call me and give me a ride so i can stay longer at holland casino, but i realize...it's time for me to stand alone, i can not always to depend on somebody else, finnaly....here i am...alone in my room already...one thing for sure...i will face tommorow brightly and happily...^^

everything that happends to me here, makes me become more mature and independent...

Friday, January 23, 2009

halahhhh....mumet aku....

tgl 20-24 february 2009....wes di book buat aku vakanti....tapi aku ga dapet tiket murahhhh...hiksss...ya apa ini....god help me....i don't want to spend my limited vakantie tijd useless hikssss......

Saturday, January 17, 2009

possessive...

I don't love him..for sure I don't...but dunno why, I always care bout him...wanna know bout him...Is me consider to be a possessive girl?

Everything that surround me are mine...not yours...very childish, right?

hemmm....stupid girl....I dunno what my brain does to me...I've tried to neglect him...can not...he still my collega here...I don't have heart to do so...but I also don't want to be so care and curious bout him...what for??he's not my boyfriend anyway...but somethin had happened with my brain...it doesn't want to follow my order...hiksss...I'm so sad...yet very dislike it....dunno what to do....

actually, I have soooo many things to think.....my vacation, my journey to find a job, my thesis, why my brain still bother me bout him??I can not focus at any of those...my god...this upcoming monday I will already be in sweden...

maybe with my vacation, I can feel released??lets see...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Dolls Myspace Comments
MyNiceSpace.com

Cuteeee huhhh??!!hahaha...just take a lesson from my partner how to copy paste it hihihi...fool huhhh??anyway..now I know how to work with it...^^

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

vandag...

Ik ben moee...erggg moee...with this annoying thesis and zorgtoeslag....mijn goed...weet het niet, what I've done wrong..but everything seems too slow for me...maybe this year I'll move a bit faster than last year...vorige jaar, I was too lazy n "cuex" this make me sick...but (thanks God!!) finally this night I've done that (zorgtoeslag...thesis not yet finish hihihi...)

Anyway...this afternoon I'd heard something that make me shock a bit...a guy that I knew n saw as a calm n shy guy...turns to be "samen wonen" guy...hihii...offcourse...it's NL man!!everybody do that..but never expect that he could do that kind of thing anyway...eventhough he has already living here for 10 years without parents...but he still has Asian culture right??

but...if I think again??what is Asian culture anyway??without samen wonen thing??dun think soo...now everything already free...if u want en u can...just do it...if they both want it...just do it...hihihi...we don't have that old fashion norms again, do we??

but, at least for me...I am still an old fashion girl...en (praise Lord) I am still holding on my norms... :)

ps: I don't have intention to judge somebody or a guy that I knew (I'm not a judge anyway..) just wanna share my felling and my opinion...

Friday, January 2, 2009

Nieuw Jaar...!!! enzovort...

Finally, here we are in 2009...fiuhhh....everything seems to be moving so fast...can't believe it...
but with this new year, I feel a bit sad..coz it means 6 months again I will have no idea what I will do nor where I am...I can claim that I'm a well organized girl, I always have a plan in my mind...but unfortunately...after my graduation, I have no plan yet, and it will come 6 months again...a bit sad, a bit spannen..

And also, on 31 December, I heard that one of my friend (girl) is broke up with her boyfriend, I was also very shock, coz I though they someday will be married...well yeahh...nobody knows exactly why...but I do feel a bit rare also with her...1 month ago, she admit that she already has a new relationship, with a balinease guy that she met in here..coz that guy is very kind, passion, and nice...they like to talk each other...then..I just come back to think again...is that what you call "relationship"?

What I mean is, can you talk to one man about your feeling and problem and let him be your boyfriend?maybe I'm a bit rude, but yeahhh...don't feel that what she has done is right...
Compare to her, I am much more independen and adaptable girl...so...what ever come to me, I can solve it, face it and be happy with it...so I don't really need "some guy" to share my problem with...hahaha...do you think I have a problem with relationship also??coz I'm too independenable thus I don't need anyone else to share with??really2 confuse me recently...
But until now, I still prefer to be independen than to be dependen and stuck crying about my problem to some guy...I think my way is still better...but could be that's the reason of my slecht relationship??

Don't know...but have to go now, already to late for work...I'll continue soon...