totally confused...

ohh God...
i really don't know what is it all about...
why why why...
everybody seems to get it n I don't...
is it really fair??
I do hardly try to accept it...to believe that U have prepared sumthing more for me...
but still...I've to try so hard....
to believe it....

waiting...

OMG..i don't get it God...why why why...??U know who is struggling for it since the beginning...but why....?other person get it first...other person which never ever thought for it before...i feel like i just left behind...i know this is not the end of everything...but somehow, i don't like to wait like this...

God arrange it for me...

God knows what is my desire...

God knows my fear....

God knows what is worried me...

And, i believe....

God will arrange it for me...

That's the best for me...

Just wait n see...

What can God do for me...

And for you...

i'm back...

i don't have all that fun n funny photo...

i don't have much of that smile and laugh...

i don't do much talk and joking...

i only do much much much and much enjoys the day for myself.....

in my own way and style...

which only belong to me me and me...

nia has her own way of thinking and way to enjoying herself...

and nobody else will ever have or understand it... ^^

my working partner

i don't know what to say about him...
so clumsy...so dumb...so slow...ohhh...i have no idea, whether i have to hate or feel pity to him...
he is 100% in-charge at service, not like me who do "anything" but howcome...almost 9 months we're work here, he never know how to serve sambucca...ya well...maybe he know it, but he NEVER do it...my God...i do really feel so pity for him...also this night, after Wing told him how to do and asked him to serve that, instead to do it...he just drop it at the floor...don't know, whether it was trully an accident or because he was too nervous to do his first sambucca...
i don't mind with that accident, it's so normal, everybody can do that, even stanny ever did that with her irish coffee...but...what i don't like is, he don't clean it properly...he just wipe that sambucca n koffie with handoekjes...my God!!!it was so sticky....and this week i just mop the floor...i just don't want to let it just go...i tell him that he have to clean that again...

i feel so pity to my working partner...

16th march 2009

it was monday, stanny asked me n mikha to have a dinner at her sister thaise restaurant, at amsterdam, jordaan...

leuk om te doen...meet two nice indonesian man...already born here...only if, i could...... ^^

learn to stand alone....

yeahhh...it's true...

we have to learn to stand with anything alone...

"I" have to learn to stand anything alone...

When friends, money, boyfriend, husband, can not be beside u....

U only have yourself, and God to rely on...

Once again...I'm heading to Barca all alone, all by my self...

I don't know who to blame...I can not...blame somebody...

Well...I guess God just want to have precious time only with me in Barca...

He wants me to learn...He wants me to enjoy it more and more...

All alone...all by myself, when there is only me, myself and I....

Barca...I'm coming...!!! ^^